


I'm Fine

by actiondynamite



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actiondynamite/pseuds/actiondynamite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert tries to work things out with Aaron</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Fine

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! 
> 
> So I wrote another fic! 
> 
> I hope you like it

"Okay, fine," Aaron screamed, reaching for Robert’s trousers, trying to unbutton them, furiously. Robert looked down at Aaron in shock before making a grab for Aaron’s wrist, halting them in their current action.

"What are you doing?" Robert chided, still holding Aaron’s wrists. "That’s not what this is about, Aaron!" 

"Course this is what it’s about! It’s always been what this is about," Aaron replied. He tore his wrists out of Robert’s grasp before making a beeline for his trousers again, only to be stopped once again by Robert and his hands. 

"What are you talking about?" Robert countered, he needed Aaron to understand but the guy seemed to have other ideas. 

Aaron scoffed, “Please Robert, you know what I’m talking about! It’s the same thing as it was at the beginning! The sex, that’s all that’s good between us, that’s all we are! You made that quite clear!”

Robert continued to stare at Aaron in shock, not believing what he was hearing. A couple of weeks ago this guy was telling him he loved Robert and now all of a sudden it was just sex?

"I mean, that’s all I’m good for, isn’t it?" Aaron conceded, glancing up at Robert, tears threatening to spill over the edge. He wouldn’t let them fall though, he couldn’t, he’d cried too much these past few weeks. He was starting to resent the weakness he showed. He noticed Robert wasn’t catching onto what Aaron was trying to say. "The sex, I mean. That’s all I’m good for, isn’t it? That’s all I am to you? Someone for you to come running too when your rich toff wife can’t satisfy you’re craving! Another thing for you to stick your dick in!"

"Aaron.." Robert began, only to be cut off by the other man.

"Someone for you to place on the shelf until you decide that I’m worthy of your time because all this has to be on your terms! And as long as you don’t get hurt then what should anyone else matter? Heaven forbid that my feelings should come into the equation! God forbid you should care about someone other than yourself!"

"Oh, like your Mr Perfect?" Robert counteracted. He was worried about Aaron but he still wasn’t going to let his name get dragged through the mud, no matter how much he deserved it. "You had no trouble getting into it when it started! You knew what you were getting into, knew what this was!"

"Yeah, well things change," Aaron hissed, shoving Robert away from him. "No need to tell me again, though. I know feelings don’t come into this for you!"

The air was becoming increasingly thin. At least that’s what it felt like for Aaron, he couldn’t breathe properly and this argument with Robert certainly wasn’t helping. He shook his head, aggressively before turning to walk upstairs, choosing to end the conversation before anything came of it.

He knew if he was to stick around, he’d let Robert talk him round - he wasn’t as strong as he once was and he was fine admitting that. He never held the control card when it came to this thing with Robert, no, that card was always with the eldest of the two. He held onto it like a lifeline, always needing control, needing power; he craved it, fed on it.

Robert only stuck around until he’d had his fill of you, once you were useless to him, he’d chuck you to the curb and be on his merry way. He’d protect you only if it meant protecting himself in the process. Robert was a  _'every man for himself'_ kind of guy and he always had been. Aaron had believed he could change that, that Robert was capable of redeeming himself. Aaron had believed that once but now, after being so beaten and broken down by the same man, he wasn’t so sure.

He’d seen all sides of Robert. The façade Robert; this was the one who everyone saw, the one that could smile and charm his way to the top. The one who could make you believe the world was yours just by looking in his eyes. You’d do anything for this Robert because he made you feel like you were special, when in fact you were just another pawn in his game of chess.

Then there was the other side to Robert. The real Robert; this was the one that was vulnerable, didn’t want to be played, didn’t want to let people in just to have them walk all over him, didn’t trust himself around anyone. Aaron had had the honor of meeting this Robert. Now, Aaron was thinking that Robert had only let him see what Robert had wanted him to see. Maybe there wasn’t a real Robert Sugden, maybe he was too far gone, too far behind his façade to realize that he could live a life without the chaos.

None of it mattered anymore though, Aaron’s eyes had been opened to the type of person Robert really was, and he wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice. Not unless Robert gave him sufficient reasoning - and no, the  _'we've got this good'_ excuse would not be a sufficient reason.

He started towards the stairs, signaling the end of their recent conversation, at least that had been Aaron’s idea, Robert seemed to have other ideas as he darted forward, turning Aaron around and pinning him to the wall.

"This conversation is over, Robert!" Aaron protested, anger flaring as he pushed against the eldest. Robert chuckled, shaking his head.

"Drop the attitude, Aaron. This isn’t over and we are sorting this out," Robert commanded, his strict and serious tone causing Aaron to stop his struggling and stare at Robert in disbelief.

"Seriously? Wow. Really? There you go again, acting like you’re the boss of me," Aaron exclaimed, finding the energy to push Robert off him and send him stumbling through the living room door. "News flash Robert, you’re not the boss of me, you don’t control me and we’re over, very much like this conversation!"

Aaron turned on his sore heels, and continued upstairs, not bothering to look back at the man who had ruined him.

"Are you hurting yourself again?"

Aaron abruptly halted, but kept his back to Robert. He wondered what he had done which might have given the man that impression.

"Are you insane? You aren’t missed so much that you’ve driven me to that Robert!" Aaron laughed, hoping it was believable.

"Then what’s with all the running?"

"People do go running, Robert. It’s called keeping in shape, maybe you should try it. Wouldn’t want Chrissie getting bored of that body now, would we?" Aaron quipped, finally turning to face him but staying put in the space he was currently occupying.

"That’s unlikely," Robert sneered, annoyed at Aaron for skirting the question. "Answer the question."

Aaron raised his eyebrows at him, an amused look on his face as he continued to stare Robert down.

"Would it hurt you to show some manners?"

Robert growled and rubbed his hands over his face before placing them on his hips, shifting his position. All the while Aaron couldn’t stop grinning, Robert deserved this.

"Fine. Answer the question,  _please_ ,” Robert sassed.

"I already have. People go running, it’s no big deal," Aaron stated, not really liking where this was going. Yes, he’d been going running a lot lately and his feet weren’t looking their best but Aaron was in control of it, seemed to be the only thing he did have control over nowadays.

"Not to the extent that you do," Robert replied, he’d seen Aaron on a few of his runs - out of breath, dripping with sweat and looking like he was about to drop any minute was not a normal run, most people stop when they felt overexerted, Aaron either didn’t know what that word meant or he did and just didn’t care. "Aaron, you’re going to hurt yourself!"

"Robert, I’ve ready told you that you don’t need to act like you care about me," Aaron breathed out, losing the fight in him, wanting this conversation over with now. "Go home, and forget about it. It’s nothing to worry about, I know when I go too far. I’m okay!"

Robert didn’t believe Aaron, could see it on his face that Aaron was far from okay. He knew that it was his fault, knew that this had something to do with him. However he didn’t want to push Aaron on the matter, but that wasn’t to say he was going to let it go. He wouldn’t see Aaron go down that route again, wouldn’t let him ruin himself.

"You’re not okay, Aaron and don’t try to tell me who I do and do not care about!" Robert retorted, throwing his hands up in despair. He’d come here with the goal of talking to Aaron, maybe rekindling something from the past but this had taken a turn for a road he wasn’t prepared for. "I’m trying to help, Aaron."

"I don’t want your help!" Aaron hissed. "If I say I’m fine, then I’m fine. If I can’t tell you who you do and do not care about then don’t you dare try to tell me that I’m not okay when I say I am! Deal? Good! Now get lost!" Aaron concluded, pointing to the door.

"Aaron, please," Robert sighed, moving towards the stairs. Aaron shook his head, refusing to listen. He was more than done with this conversation.

"Out!" Aaron hissed, glaring at Robert in defiance. He continued to point out the door, standing his ground. Robert would never change, he would always try to control those around him, try to play games with them and Aaron might not have a choice in whether he loved Robert or not but he did have the choice of putting his foot down, and Roberts attitude only enhanced his determination to stick to the decision.

"Fine, I’ll go. But this isn’t over, Aaron," Robert warned. Aaron scoffed, "Looks pretty over to me, Robert. Make sure you have your little hissy fit about not getting your own way before you walk through the doors of Home Farm though, wouldn’t want the missus getting suspicious because her husband is more concerned about the local mechanic then her, now would we?"

He made a jab at the exits direction again, emphasizing his point. Once Robert and he dejected self was gone, he turned and continued his journey upstairs, to get ready for bed.

Robert however, was still stood outside the pub, staring at the door. He hadn’t achieved his goal but tonight had just proved to him that Aaron wasn’t okay. He could deny it all he liked but Robert knew better, knew that Aaron’s new habit wasn’t just about staying in shape. The only question was, how was Robert going to prove it? And could he help Aaron before it got out of hand?

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!


End file.
